This is a post strictly for information, not to criticize anyone who is a WOHM by choice or need. I just wanted to share our experience with transitioning from full time WOHM to WAHM to SAHM.
We thought I would always have to work and it hurt me deeply. We had decided we would not have more children (just Morgan) because I already personally felt like I wasn't the mom I wanted to be (this was just how *I* felt). When she was 5, I was in terrible health, both mentally and physically due to a stressful job and we sat down and got real with how much I was really bringing home after all of the expenses of me working and what my health was worth. I had started my soapmaking business about 6 months before we decided I'd quit my job and every extra penny (what was once my spending $$ from my job) went into the business startup, materials, packaging, etc. I would work from 3pm to 11:30pm, come home and work my biz until the wee hours and then go into my dd's school classroom to help out 3 or 4 days aweek, come home and DH would stay with her while I went to work. I worked all weekends, so I rarely saw my DH for more than a few minutes and in the evenings sometimes. Someone that had been in that job at the hospital for something like 25 years had said when I mentioned that I wish I could just quit and be a full time mom and do my biz, but at the time we were renting and wanted to buy a house, but needed my income to qualify. She said that if we bought a house while I was working there, I'd have to always work there to keep paying the mortgage and I'd be stuck. And that if it was okay with me, then do it, but think about it. I did think about it. She was right. I quit my job within 2 weeks of that very sage advice. I worked my biz, I hung out with my daughter after school and was able to help out AT her school more often. I also started sleeping, which was a foreign concept to me. And attending soccer games for my dd that I used to catch about 20 minutes of before I had to get to work on Saturdays. I had never before even attended a practice, so that was a treat, too. My biz was slow-going, but steady. Every penny of extra $$ came from my business and Ebay and things like that, but it was only like that for a couple of years. Things got better, but still tight, of course. We actually were able to buy our first house about a year and a half later. Around that time, I felt like we were secure enough that it would be nice to have another baby. And we did. We found out we were pregnant with Jordan the day that we moved into our new home. It was wonderful. Again, money was tight, especially with the new mortgage, but it worked for us, it was okay with us and my business was doing well enough where I could support the biz and still have a little bit of pocket money as well.
Here we are, 4 years later and we still talk about how scared we were to take that leap. Always in the back of mind has been that I can always go back to work if times get too tough. But we've made some changes in our lifestyle and family life to make this happen for us. We moved from CA to NC and cut our expenses tremendously. And you know what? We like it here. We have quite a different life and I never thought I'd be happy with it until we did it. I also never thought I'd be a SAHM, but I am loving that, too.
I did not post this to make anyone feel bad, but hopefully to put that spark of possibility in someone's heart if they need it. All things are possible. We make things happen in our lives. It's not always right away that these changes can be made or take place, sometimes it's baby steps, sometimes a giant leap.
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