Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Why do I get all of the freakish medical professionals?

My daughter has had an achy area in her back the past few days and last night her throat started to hurt and she was coughing. This am, her throat was REALLY hurting, she threw up AND had a fever of 104, so we went to trusty ole Urgent Care. I know her regular ped. is out of town and I don't like the other docs in that office, so this was gonna do. I was worried she had strep.

First, we were told it would be about 30-40 minutes wait, and after an hour and a half, I was like um, are we next?

Finally it was our turn and the doctor came in and said "hey dude" to my 13 year old daughter and introduced himself as Bob and shook our hands. Ok. He's trying to relate. Got it.

He does an exam, we talk about the various symptoms, worried about strep, blah blah and the nurse does a culture. While we're waiting for the rapid strep to come back, he says "so, have you all talked about sex and alcohol and everything/ i see that she's 13". I just nodded and said "yup, as much as we can".

Next, he said ALL of these things:

Well, you know not to take a drink out of an open cup at a party, right?

Don't park in cars and make out with boys.

Don't stay out after midnight, that's when the drunks and druggies and criminals come out.

He asked if she knows what a boy with HIV looks like. And told her they look like any guy because it could be TEN YEARS before they get sick.

And if she lets a boy "touch" her, he will probably tell all of his friends and don't do anything she wouldn't want to see on the front page of the newspaper.

You should have seen her face. She was looking at him like he grew two heads, her neck was pulled back, her eyebrows were sky-high, her expression was priceless.

I said "well, she's got her mama at home all the time and I know what she's doing all the time. We talk about these things at home." And he handed me our paperwork and we walked out. We walked out of that place looking at each other like WTF